Thieves' Cant

Transcribed by me from a Dael Kingsmill video

“So how is old swindolfoot these days?” “Not so good, I’m afraid. He passed away about a month ago. Got a little too… Well, lets just say his ambitions finally got the better of him. Sad really. I always liked the old sod.” “Too bad. His family is well taken care of though, I hope.” “That’s the worst of it. Not taking any handouts… Living mostly on principals these days.” “Hmmm. Sorry to hear that. Can’t eat principals.” “Well, you know what they say; if you stand by principals long enough, you’re sure to be rewarded.” “And you believe it?” “Doesn’t matter what I think. When your back is to the wall and the floor falling from beneath you, you either grab onto something or nothing at all. …but enough of that. What do you say to a game of cards with a couple of old friends later?” “I always did love cards… Friends too if they’re the right sort.” “Hehehh Good! Meet me in the upper room on the southeast side after we’ve had time to put the kids to bed. …and don’t wake the dogs. Theyre a pain to put down and thier barking causes all kinds of trouble.”  

“oh you look like a friend” Join card game, playing cards, adding more money the longer you stay/more information you get Hearts / person or place is safe or good Diamond / good mark Clubs / Heavily guarded Spades / Someone good to go for dishonest work  

Double bands

(or some other discreet mark) is a way to identify a rogue looking for work, Con-artistry right ear / counterfeiting left ear / Assassination neck / smuggling right upper arm / Intimidation left wrist / Fence right wrist / Interrogation, left thumb / Trap finding, left index / Lock picking left middle / Kidnapping left pinky / Theft right index / Forgery R middle / reconnaissance right ring / Burglary right index AND right ring / Stalking anklet / Espionage

Greetings

Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes // boy am I glad to see you -Seeking sanctuary Long time no see // feels like I haven’t seen you in ages -The heat is on Look at what the cat dragged in // uhoh here comes trouble

If you notice someone looking for work  

The offer, 3-4 pieces of information, Customary to return the feigned familiarity.

inquire how they are doing: 

On their own / working alone lots of friends / in a party family / for a syndicate or guild  

Ask about the health of some (fictional?) person…

This equates to the difficulty of the job they are in fine spirits / easy job they past away last month / deadly job

payment

depends on who they are talking about: kids / 100s gold, grand kids / 1000s gold This could be narrowed down by asking about ‘how many kids do you have?’ ‘how many grand kids?‘

To work out the details or accept the job

It’s been great to see you, we should play cards @ this time @ this place

Scenario:

A stranger approaches the party and begins to converse. The stranger claims to be an acquaintance of the party rogue (which may or may not be true). They have a mundane conversation, just old friends catching up. In reality, they are using Thieves’ Cant to pass the rogue a quest/ job offer or other message.

Greeting

Presumably, the roguish messenger seeking out your party knows your identity. The greeting they use identifies them to your rogue as a representative of a particular thieves’ guild.
Hey, girl, hey! / Assassins’ Guild Look what the cat dragged in / Thugs or Enforcers Yo ho / Pirates’ Guild (Rogue’s name) is that you? / Forgers What do we have here? / Smugglers Ain’t you a sight for sore eyes / Torturers My, my, don’t that beat all / Gamblers or Bookmakers Random verbal greeting with big bear hug / Pickpockets (see note) Well aren’t you a piece of work / Fences Howdy Pardner / Rustlers or Poachers (NPC’s name), at your service / Slavers Cheerio, old chap / Con Artists(Upscale)

You got some fried potatoes to go with that Lamb Chop (female PC) or Beefcake (male PC)? / Shysters, Flim-flams, Hustlers & cheap Cons

Hey, beautiful or hey handsome / Member of rival or hostile Guild ‘Ello Guv’nor (with deep bow) / Politicians’ Liaison ‘Ello Guv’nor (with mock salute) / Military or Guards Liaison ‘Ello Guv’nor (tips hat) / Merchants’ Guild Liaison ‘Ello Guv’nor (pulls out cigarette, asks for light) / Spies (official government)  

Note: On bear hug, Pickpocket removes PC’s purse and replaces it in a different pocket. Either handwave this as done by an expert, or roll + 5 Dex (sleight of hand) + proficiency + expertise vs. PC’s Wis (perception). If Pickpocket fails, let PC respond as they choose; that’s the risk a pickpocket takes.  

Nostalgia As with many old friends catching up, the messenger says something like “I haven’t seen you since…” The exact phrasing does not matter. The important element is the time frame, which reflects the urgency of the message to follow.

Urgency

“I haven’t seen you in 6 months” / Not urgent or optional “Wow, it’s been a few years” / Low urgency “Can you believe it’s been over 10 years?” / High urgency “Seems like you left the village a lifetime ago” / Extreme urgency “Gosh, it feels like forever since I’ve seen you” / Utmost urgency or Not optional  

Catching Up

The messenger mentions a relative of the PC. There are two elements to this innocent statement. First, the specific relative mentioned identifies the source of the message or quest. Second, the tenor of the statement reflects the subtext of the message. The tone of the message may be friendly, neutral, or hostile.

Relation code

Message sender Uncle / Government official Great Uncle / Monarch or Sovereign Mother or Father / Rogue’s superior in Guild Grandmother or Grandfather / Guild Master Cousin / Rogue’s peer in Guild Mother-in-law or Father-in-law / Superior rank in allied Guild Step-Mother / Member of rival Guild Great Grandmother or Great Grandfather / Over-Guild Official Little brother or Little sister / Guild initiate Puppy or Kitten / PC’s actual family member

DM Example of Tone Implication “I was so sorry to hear about your Grandmother’s passing. What a tragedy.” (Hostile) Your Guildmaster is threatening to kill you if you botch this job “Your Uncle has so many nieces and nephews, I don’t know how he remembers all your names” (Neutral) The government official can hire someone else if you don’t take the job “Remember that time we shaved your Step-Mother’s chihuahua? That was funny. We were awful kids, she didn’t deserve that.” (Friendly) A member or official of a rival Guild pleads for your help. Perhaps they are willing to make peace, or claim previous hostility was due to a misunderstanding.  

Chit-chat

This part can vary the most. It gives the nature of the job or message, as well as additional information such as identifying targets, cautions, or other parameters. If necessary, the relations listed above can be used again with the same meanings. For example, “Your uncle says don’t forget to wish your step-mother a happy birthday,” meaning “a government official wants you to assassinate a rival guild leader.”

Birthday / Assassination Birthday Party / Assassination of multiple targets Number of Candles / Number of Targets A small, intimate gathering / No collateral damage; look like an accident Celebration, Wingding, Blowout The larger the “party,” / the bigger the splash Party like it’s 999 / No survivors Party planner / Inside informant Party invitation / intel already gathered Black tie / formal Rogue must follow questgiver’s guidelines Come as you are / informal Rogue has discretion on methods Family reunion / Guildwar Vacation / Kidnapping Family vacation / multiple kidnappings / hostage situation Vacation postcards / ransom demands Vacation souvenirs / proof of victim’s ID (e.g. signet ring or left big toe) Ale run / Smuggling contraband Deliver package / Smuggling, delivering object Special Delivery / Smuggling live cargo Marriage proposal / Intimidate, threaten, blackmail Dowry / payoff, money Gossip / Recon, spy, info gathering Join the club / covert infiltration Farm / general money-making operation, heist Vineyard / high-stakes operation, heist, e.g. targeting a wealthy noble Plantation / refers to long-term, multiple operations of entire Guild Ranch / Large scale operation, e.g. bilking an entire town Greenhouse / Bank robbery Grocery / market, Rob merchant Window box, Planter, Garden patch / small scale heist, con Problem with rodents, worms, insects / spy or informant in the operation Problem with rabbits / embezzler in the operation Don’t tell. It’s a surprise. / It’s ok to let other party members in on the job Bring a date / Get backup (presumably other PCs) but keep them in the dark regarding the op Invite your friends / if you tell them, you have to kill them Give credit where credit is due / frame someone else for the crime Signature, Signed / reveal job originator to send a message Enough about me, how are you? / The messenger would gladly skip payment info Contract negotiation is much more favorable for the quest-giver after the job is done.

If the PC neglects to ask for payment, it’s their own fault. They can ask and negotiate by inquiring about the Messenger’s family.

“How’s your little (tyke, baby girl, nephew, poodle, whatever)?” means “How much does the job pay?” “Oh, he’s great. He’s 9 now.”

In-game, the number indicates a range on a scale of 1 – 20 how much the quest-giver is offering. Mechanically, you can roll for the money portion of a CR 9 monster’s hoard (magic items NOT included).

“Really? I thought he was, like, 12.” or “So your older girl is 12, then?”

This represents the PCs demand: I want level 12 payment for this job.

”Yeah, but junior will be 10 next month.”

This is the messenger’s counter-offer: level 10 payment.
”Do we have a deal?”

Will I see you at the harvest festival (or any other hometown gathering) this year? / Will you take the job? I’ll be there / Yes
I am otherwise engaged / No Give my regards to your Granny / A pox on thee and your guild master as well …and have your pets spayed or neutered / I’m going to spay and neuter your family members  

DM Note   This can be a kind of puzzle for your rogue player. Other PCs should not be aware of the meaning; in fact, other players may not even realize thieves’ cant is being used. Most games, in my experience, don’t actually do anything with thieves’ cant, unless maybe just passing secret notes. I designed this hoping to avoid the passing of notes.

Your rogue player should have a copy of this guide. Even so, they may misinterpret the message entirely. If they do, that could be even more fun. I tried not to over-complicate too much, so the passing of notes or private conversations with your rogue may still be necessary to convey specific quest details.   ____________________________________________________________________________________-  

Example Conversation between my rogue Mystique and her “old friend” Samantha:  

Samantha: Hey, girl, hey! How are you doing? I haven’t seen you in…eternity. What are you up to? Mystique: Oh, hi. I’ve been keeping busy with these yahoos. S: It’s so good to see you. I was just visiting your Great Aunt. She is such a sweetheart. You should look in on her more often. M: Yeah, maybe I will after we get back from our trip to Hrad Whit. S: Hrad Whit? You know, that road will take you right past Frawbtudt’s Academy of Advanced Gladiation. I hear they have a new games-meister since old Frawbtudt retired. M: Really? S: Yeah, and he’s having a huge birthday party. It’s supposed to be some big secret, I guess; a small, intimate affair. Members only, but they’re gonna party like it’s 999. If you’re in the area, you should totally join the club. M: Sounds intriguing. Maybe I’ll check it out. S: Cool. M: Say, how’s your nephew these days? S: Oh, he’s getting so big. You have no idea. M: You don’t say. Well can’t wait to see that big boy sometime. S: So, will you be home for the harvest festival this year? My Grandmother will be baby-sitting my nephew. Maybe you could meet him then. M: I’d love to. Good seeing you. : Bring a date.  

TRANSLATION:   I’m a member of the Assassin’s Guild. This message is of utmost importance. It’s been too long since you’ve reported to the Queen. She urges you (tactfully, not threatening) to complete this task. I’m on another assignment to Hrad Whit. Finish this job first: Assassination of the new master of Frawbtudt’s Academy and his crew. Leave no survivors. Also leave no evidence or collateral damage. Begin with a covert infiltration. How much? Unspecified, but very generous. See the Assassins’ Guildmaster for payment. You’ll need backup, but don’t tell them any details.   Follow-up conversation with party: Annabelle the Minotaur Fighter: I didn’t know you had any family. Mystique the Assassin Rogue: I don’t, you numbskull. You think I want my parents to become some thug’s pets? My siblings tortured by some Demented Murderer? A: So do you or don’t you have family? M: I don’t. Not a single relative left. If you’re lucky, maybe someday I’ll swear I don’t know you either. A: I never understand anything you say.   Edit: Formatting. In markdown. Which I started just before the “new” Reddit launched. Edit: Reformatted for consistency. Code:Message as /u/kendrone suggested. Thanks. Edit: Added a few more items. Thanks to /u/zonkovic and /u/Quajek for input. Edit: Thanks to /u/psiphre for formatting as pdf. See his/her comment below for link, since I have no idea how to link in Reddit’s new format.